Things People Say

The Great Plains used to be a giant forest. The Indians burnt it to the ground to hunt buffalo.
...political pundit Jonah Goldberg


I'm from Alabama and they have a different alphabet.
...Baltimore Orioles pitcher Eric DuBose, when stopped for DUI and asked to recite the alphabet


Dispatcher: 911
Caller: I am trapped in my house.
Dispatcher: Trapped? Is someone holding you there?
Caller: Someone? No. But there is a frog on the front porch.
Dispatcher: A frog?
Caller: Yes. A frog.
Dispatcher: Okay, but what is preventing you from leaving the house.
Caller: I told you, there's a frog on the porch and I'm afraid of frogs.
Dispatcher: And you don't have another door to the house?
Caller: No. There's only one door and I can't get out of the house with the frog sitting there.
Dispatcher: Why don't you take a broom and sweep the frog off the porch?
Caller: I can't do that. I told you. I'm afraid of frogs. He might get me.
Dispatcher: Um...I'm not sure I can help you with this...


My boyfriend gave it [a necklace with a tiny circle on it] to me. He bought it because it was our first-year anniversary and it takes like a year for the sun to rotate around the earth.
...actress Kirsten Dunst


I don't think about anything too much. If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!
...actress Pamela Anderson


Many Easter services will be canceled tomorrow morning. Before heading out to worship services, I recommend that you contact your church or synagogue.
...weather forecaster on a Denver nightly news show