Redneck Medical Terms

Benign - what you be, after you be eight.

Artery - the study of paintings.

Bacteria - back door to cafeteria.

Barium - what doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean section - a neighborhood in Rome.

Cat scan - searching for kitty.

Cauterize - made eye contact with her.

Coma - a punctuation mark.

D & C - where Washington is.

Dilate - to live long.

Enema - not a friend.

Fester - quicker than someone else.

Fibula - a small lie.

Genital - a non-Jewish person.

GI series - world series of military baseball.

Hangnail - what you hang your coat on.

Impotent - distinguished, well-known.

Labor pain - getting hurt at work.

Medical staff - a doctor’s cane.

Morbid - a higher offer.

Nitrates - cheaper than day rates.

Node - I knew it.

Outpatient - a person who has fainted.

Pap Smear - a fatherhood test.

Pelvis - second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative - a letter carrier.

Recovery room - place to do upholstery.

Rectum - darn near killed him.

Seizure - a Roman emperor.

Terminal Illness - getting sick at the airport.

Tumor - one plus one more

Urine - opposite of you’re out.

Varicose - nearby / close by.