Excerpts from Job Applications
- I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
- I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0, computor and spreadsheat progroms.
- Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
- Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
- Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
- It's best for employers that I not work with people.
- I Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
- I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
- I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and
- I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
- Personal interests: Donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
- Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.
- Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job hopping. I have
never quit a job.
- Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get
to work by 8:45 every morning. Could not work under those conditions.
- Finished eighth in my class of ten.