Oh, I don't eat buffalo.
...Jessica Simpson -- after being offered a buffalo wing
Sportscaster Al Michaels:
Well, it appears that he has pulled his groin.
Sportscaster John Madden:
And it's a shame, it's such a great groin.
Witness: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.
Lawyer: It was covered?
Witness: Yes, bandaged.
Lawyer: Then, later on...what did you see?
Witness: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.
Q: What's the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
...actual answer given on a driving school exam
Q: Miss, were you cited in the accident?
A: Yes, sir, I was so 'cited I peed all over myself.
...actual courtroom testimony
People all over the world recognize me as a spiritual leader.
...action film star Steven Seagal
You've done a nice job decorating the White House.
...Jessica Simpson, to secretary of the interior Gale Norton while on a tour of the White House